Coronavirus: Woman who watched mum die recalls her last moments

Three years on from the first Covid lockdown, families across the UK are still reeling from the after-effects of the pandemic. The BBC spoke to one from Leicestershire, for whom the consequences of the virus are still very raw.

In October 2020, just months after the first big wave of coronavirus hit the UK, two severely ill women were admitted to the Leicester Royal Infirmary.

One of them was Anabel Sharma, 52, a GP practice consultant.

The other was her 76-year-old mother Maria Rico.

Maria, who had moved to the UK from Spain in the 1970s, had lived in the same house as Anabel, her husband and three sons.

The virus, Anabel said, had “ravaged through” the family at a frightening speed.

By the time she and her mother were admitted to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), doctors were not sure if either of them would survive.

They were placed in adjoining beds and a poignant final photograph shows them holding hands.

“When I asked the doctors if I was going to die, I expected them to say no,” recalled Anabel.

“And they said ‘we don’t know’. That was such a shock.

“I wasn’t thinking about what income I was getting or what car I was driving.

“I only was thinking that I wish I had more memories with people I loved.”

In the next bed, Maria was deteriorating.

“The consultant knelt down next to me and told me that my mum had signed a ‘do not resuscitate’ order. My mum was telling me her final wishes. It was all very surreal,” said Anabel.

Anabel’s sister Susana was brought to her mother’s bedside while wearing personal protective equipment.

On 1 November, Maria removed her oxygen mask to speak to her two daughters one final time – despite knowing this would hasten her death.

“My mum asked them to take her mask off and they said, ‘Once we take this off, that will be it. You won’t have very long’.

“She said ‘Yes, I know that but I’ve had enough’.

“We had about five minutes with her when she was able to speak, then she lost consciousness.

“She told us she wasn’t afraid to die, that she was ready. She told me I had to fight hard because I had the children at home.

“They took my bed over to her bed, so I could be with her as she passed away. At the same time, my oxygen levels were getting dangerously low, so they had to keep pulling me away to stabilise me.

“I just remember holding her hand, and talking to her.

“Very slowly, her hand was getting colder, and colder.”

The family’s tragedy will be familiar to people all over the UK, which has seen more than 210,000 deaths as a result of the virus.

Maria was cremated some weeks later with Anabel watching a livestream from her hospital bed.

She remained in ICU for nearly three months.

She said: “My memories are very fragmented. It would feel like I blinked, but days would have passed. Most of the time I was not fully conscious.”

When she was finally discharged, she returned home, to Whitwick in Leicestershire, feeling weak and shocked.

Back at the house, Maria felt her mother’s loss sharply.

“For a good few weeks, when I came home, I slept in my mum’s bedroom,” she said.

Her sons – then aged 10, 12, and 22 – were also struggling to take in the devastation Covid had wrought on the family.

She said: “One of the two younger children would always get into bed with me. It was so emotionally traumatic for them. They were very young at the time.

“The most painful thing for me was knowing that my children were told that their mum might not make it.”

Anabel’s time in hospital also had a huge impact on her husband Bharat.

“My husband had to carry the family when I was in hospital,” she said.

“He was getting daily updates from the ICU consultant. They were very difficult conversations that he was having to have every day.”

Anabel still suffers from the effects of long Covid.

Her lungs were damaged by the virus and she still experiences fatigue.

She said: “I’ve got scarring of my lungs, and heart and liver damage. I’m not the same person as before.”

She remains grateful to the ICU staff who treated her and has even been back to visit them.

And while she describes her mother’s death as “heart-breaking”, she is glad she did not die alone.

She also said her outlook on life had changed as a result of the experience.

She said: “I felt I had lost my way, up until that point. I had a lot of regrets about moments I missed with the children due to work pressures.

“I am lucky I have a second chance to address those regrets.”

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised, you can visit the BBC’s Action Line pages.

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