Vanessa Abbess said her son Joe was a “kind, loving, outgoing” boy
By Anjana Gadgil & Maria Zaccaro
BBC News
The mother of a 17-year-old who drowned off Bournemouth beach said his death left a “massive hole” in their family.
Joe Abbess, from Southampton, died on 31 May when he and a group of other people got into difficulties in the water.
Sunnah Khan,12, from Buckinghamshire, also died.
Joe’s mother Vanessa Abbess said she has since become terrified of the sea, and joined Sunnah’s family call for better education and more safety signs.
In an exclusive interview, she told the BBC Joe was a “kind, loving, outgoing” boy who “looked after family and friends”.
“He is not coming home… The days keep going and he’s not here,” she said.
Joe and his friends had decided to spend the day at the beach and Mrs Abbess had taken them to the railway station in the morning.
“You don’t imagine your child won’t come home after a day out,” she said.
Image source, Vanessa Abbess
Joe loved going to the gym, his mother said
She recalled receiving a phone call from one of Joe’s friends saying her son had gone missing in the water.
Soon after she received another phone call from the police and a hospital consultant who told her “not to hurry” because “it was too late”.
“[It] broke my heart… You don’t expect that. It should have never happened to him,” Mrs Abbess said.
Joe had just passed his first year at City College Southampton and was working as a trainee chef at St Mary’s Stadium in the city.
“[He was] living his dream, he was enjoying life to the full,” Mrs Abbess said.
She has said she has since become terrified of the sea and has been unable to visit Bournemouth beach.
Vanessa Abbess has described the past three months without her son Joe
She added: “Some days I cry all day, other days I get through it but it’s hard because all the time he is in my head.
“And why has this happened? Yes it’s a natural disaster but it’s surreal. Nature was very cruel that day.”
Sunnah’s mother Stephanie Williams has written to Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole Council (BCP) about the lack of water safety signs on the beach.
She has also called for better education on water safety.
Mrs Abbess has joined Mrs Williams’s calls and said children and adults need to be educated about the dangers the sea can pose.
She said: “Nobody is safe and a lot of people are a little bit complacent that they think the sea is safe.
“Everyone need to learn the sea can turn. It can be absolutely fine and then turn to a ferocious beast.”
Image source, Vanessa Abbess
Joe was a trainee chef studying at City College Southampton
BCP told the BBC a “coordinated multi-agency approach” had delivered a series of immediate actions since the incident in May.
The council said it worked with the RNLI to decide the “period and type of lifeguard cover at any one beach” and had increased the use of safety messages over seafront tannoys.
It said it had also placed additional banners and digital media near Bournemouth and Boscombe piers to help promote the RNLI’s Float to Live campaign message.
However, the council said the sea was “powerful” and conditions could change rapidly “so we will never entirely be able to eliminate the risk of drowning”.
Image source, @buhalis
Emergency services rushed to Bournemouth beach on 31 May
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